life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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