DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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