Need sex. Gaining weight.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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