At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
