i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize