She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
