Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
