It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
