You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
