I wish i was in the wii world.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
