Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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