i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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