I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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