Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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