; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
