using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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