Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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