I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i think i just lost a toe
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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