the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
