I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drunk is a universal language darling
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