The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize