We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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