To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We had to coat check the pizza.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize