omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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