I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
