Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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