I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
