4 words: hood of his car
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
