The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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