i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
