that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
