I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
