Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
