my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You can't special order awesome
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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