I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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