i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
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Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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