im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize