i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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