Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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