Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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