Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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