My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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