i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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