Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
