I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
