i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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