she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
