so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
