he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
