my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
