Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
