He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
