just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
