While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
