Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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