you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
