They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
