do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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